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Sad Pirate Monkey Saga..... pilot?
There once was a monkey, named Lamentamenta, who dreamed of the sea. Though he could scale great heights and climb tall trees, he longed to scale the masts of those great ships he saw from afar. He spent so much time on the beach, chasing waves and practicing his breast stroke (on himself, because he had no girlfriend) that his family began to riducule him for his seafaring aspirations. He ignored this insulting barrage with true indifference, as there was nothing anyone could say to disuade his dreams of someday sailing those unpredictable waters. More than anything, he wanted to be a Pirate, complete with a bodacious hat and salty language.
One day, a pirate ship became stranded on his beach. Lamentamenta, being the smart monkey he was, devised a way to get the ship sailing once again, and with the help of a few other monkeys, some vines, some logs, and just plain old ingenuity, the ship was returned to it's rightful place amid the sparkling waves along with the crew, and it's captain, whose hat demanded awe and admiration from all who beheld it. When the captain asked what could be done to repay Lamentamenta, he pleaded only to be allowed to sail with the Captain's motley crew. The captain, realizing that they could use a boot for all the jobs the other monkeys were reluctant to do, heartily agreed.
Lamentamenta soon came to see that he was not an accepted member of the crew. The other monkeys made fun and laughed at his landlubbing ways. Try as he might, he couldn't aleviate his seasickness. Every time he tried to introduce himself, he'd puke uncontrollably, and he was still unsure as to whether or not it was just plain nervousness.
The first major act of piracy on Lamentamenta's part came on the third day of his ocean voyage. One of the other monkeys owned a parrot, who also disliked Lamentamenta, and early that morning, the parrot stole a knife from the galley with the most malicious intent. The parrot attacked Lamentamenta, who happened to be swabbing the deck, but luckily found a sword within arms reach. Lamentamenta parried and thrusted valiantly, but the parrot, having the advantage of flight, clearly had the upper hand. By a sheer twist of fate, involving a complicated dance in the masts and sails, Lamentamenta managed to overcome the parrot. He held the parrot's newly severed head high in the salty breeze and cried his most fiercesome cry (which came out much like a sqweak...), and all this to the other dismay of the parrot's owner. The owner, who was called Noodle, shouted his outrage to the heavens and his fellow pirates. They advanced on Lamentamenta, who was still high in the rigging, and knives clenched in their teeth, they started to climb towards him...
Lofivinyl: R uth I believe you. you are an oddd little piece of work. I find that I like you after all!
Lamentamenta, normally not one for panic, decided to do what he did best. He perched himself on top of the mast, shrugged his shoulders, and sighed. This did nothing to slow the ascent of the angry pirates. The Pirate with the Accordion was closest to Lamentamenta, and began to swipe at his ankles.
Below, Noodle continued to exhort his men. "Climb ye higher!" he screamed. Noodle was quite the accomplished yeller. "He's taken me precious one! He's taken the love of me life! He must die!"
Lamentamenta heard this and replied, "He started it. If it's only about that, you can have him back..."
Noodle made the rudest gesture a one can when one's hands are hooks. His comrades would bring Lamentamenta down, and when they did, he'd take exquisite pleasure in flaying the fur from his tail. Noodle looked to the mast, imagining what kind of scarf Lamentamenta's tail would make, when he noticed a small shadow descending. He arched his head back and squinted his good eye to get a better view. "Mr. Crackers?" Noodles whispered, as the severed parrot's head sank beak first into his eye socket.
From his perch, Lamentamenta knew there was only one thing to do. He sighed again, a sigh so powerfully resigned that it overwhelmed his center of gravity, causing him to topple from his perch.
The last thing Noodle heard in his short but wonderfully piratical life was a mumbled "So sorry..." as Lamentamenta's prone body crushed him.
Lamentamenta groaned and slowly rose to his feet. All of the pirates climbing after him still swayed on the rigging, dumbfounded. Lamentamenta smiled at them.
"I've killed someone," he sighed. "Am I a pirate now?"
Slowly, the men on the rigging came to their senses. Their beloved Noodle was dead, their more beloved conjugal parrot had been killed and defiled. Noodle's death wouldn't be the last this morning. They screamed as one and rushed down to finish the Lamentamenta.
The air was shattered by the tremendous BOOOOOM of a musket, the most feared musket on the seas.
"Wot's all this then?" The Stereotypical Pirate Captain asked. Then added, "Yaaaaaargh!"
Lamentamenta had been trying to tastefully arrange Noodle's body on deck, affording the Pirate Captain a tasteful view to offer his last wishes. He had just pulled the parrot's head free of Noodles' skull, sending a small jet of blood spraying onto the Pirate Captain's boots.
"Mr. Crackers? What's happened to Mr. Crackers? Five hundred doubloons to the man who brings me the head of the scurvy dog responsible for this!"
Lamentamenta pointed at Noodles. "He did it."
"Did not!" the Pirate with Poor Skin called form the rigging.
"Did," Lamentamenta replied.
The argument ended when the sky was split again by the roar of cannonfire. The Royal British Navy had arrived! The Pirate Ship was about to be boarded!
It's a God-awful small affair to the girl with the mousy hair...
As the ever proper Brits were adjusting their wigs for battle, Lamentamenta's peril was momentarily forgotten. The pirate who was generally posted in the crow's nest and was tasked with sounding announcements, had forgotten his rolodex of pirate coloquialisms like "Land, Ho" and "Thar she blows!" and more importantly, "The British Royal Navy blows...errr, has arrived!" in the fisticuffs that ensued from Mr. Cracker's untimely demise.
The uninformed pirates scrambled for their weapons, as the Brits readied the cannon's and sent a volley of fire careening towards the pirate's hull. Much to Lamentamenta's dismay, a large cannonball landed on what was left of Noodle, and his mortician-inspired efforts were wasted. This of course, made Lamentamenta sigh even more, and he sort of puddled into a depressive state and rolled around the deck as the ship was tossed and turned by the waves and the heavy artillery fire.
By this time, the Royal Seamen had advanced on the Pirate ship, and were swinging onto her decks in vast numbers.
"Let's press on, then, men! Tea in half an hour!" was the Admiral's cry, as he brilliantly stormed accross the deck in his awe inspiring red dress uniform.
The Stereotypical Pirate Captain, whom the men had taken to calling Capt. or SPC, had fought astoundingly well up to this point; asskickery at it's finest. But at the sight of the British Admiral, walking around on his decks in a more fantastic dress than he, with an arguably better hat, was too much. Sword waving over head, he charged the Admiral.
"Yarghhhhh!!!! Ye think ye better'n the captain of this ship? I'll make ye walk the plank! Davy jones will store your bones by the end of this day! I..."
Capt. SPC's charge was cut short. Lamentamenta, who hadn't contributed whatsoever to the fight, was still rolling about on the deck and had bowled over Capt. SPC mid-sentence. The Admiral was next. His feet flew into the air as he toppled over the side of the ship and it was only then that Lamentamenta leapt to his feet. That hat, that beautimous hat of the admiral's, in all it's tasselled glory, had been knocked over the side as well, never to be seen again.
With the admiral overboard, the Brits had lost their bearing. "What? No tea then? Who is to serve the crumpets?? Who is to adjust our wigs?"
The leaderless Brits tried to surrender, but the scurvy pirates would have none of it. Still bloodthirsty from the earlier events of the day, the pirates rounded up what was left of the brits and tied them to the mast to be stabbed one by one. Once they were secured, the pirates boarded the brits vessel to pillage and plunder as only pirates can do. This time around, the raping would have to be left out, as only one of the pirates claimed to be homosexual.
Meanwhile, Lamentamenta, realizing that it was time to polish the main mast, was even more depressed to find all these people in the way.
He decided to start at the top and work his way down, but the rope he was using was also the rope the other pirates had used to secure the top half of the Brits to the mast. Angry that he didn't have enough rope to secure himself to the top of the mast, he pulled and pulled, not realizing that he was unknowingly asfixiating the prisoners.
As the pirates were bringing the loot aboard their ship, they realized that the fun they had saved for later was gone! There were no Brits to stab and quarter, no lobsterbacks to run through and make walk the plank! Only Lamentament remained, with his arms full of rope and very well polished mast...
Lofivinyl: R uth I believe you. you are an oddd little piece of work. I find that I like you after all!
"...and then he died. THE END." said the Pirate with the Creepy double chin who liked to commission explicit paintings of himself with the beer wenches of local taverns, as he prepared to strike the killing blow to Lamentamenta.
He was quickly run through by the Pirate Who Hated Being Interrupted. "You'll not write the end of this wretched Monkey's tale just yet!" he bellowed, wiping blood from his sword.
"Monkey's Tale! Tail! Oh, Jolly Good!" said the British Soldier Who Liked Puns, shortly before gasping his last breath in the rigging above.
"Yes, thank you," said the Pirate Who Hated Being Interrupted. "We all kill him together! Slowly! Painfully!"
Lamentamenta was in a quandary. These men meant to kill him, and he meant to finish cleaning the ship. After all, how else could he convince these men he was a Pirate through and through?
"Yar," Lamentamenta exhaled. "I suppose fate is fate."
He raised his hands and offered himself to the angry mob of pirates. They quickly trussed him up.
"Yo-Ho!" said the Pirate who Liked Inventing Children's Games. "I shall unspool this monkey over the sides and into the waves, bringing him to near drowning. Observe! Yo!" and the Pirate tossed him overboard.
Splash!
"And now, I shall bring him back with a deft movement of my finger. Yo!" The Pirate Who Liked Inventing Children's Games tugged, and sure enough, Lamentamenta came spinning back topside.
Poor Lamentamenta sputtered and splutterd, gasping for breath.
"Do it again!" said the Pirate who was Easily Entertained.
And so they did, up and down, the entire crew chanting with each movement. Yo-yo! Yo-yo!
Lamentamenta was quite dizzy at this point, but he had noticed something. Bobbing in the water, slightly soaked, but still fantastic.Could it be...? He clutched at it.
And upon his next ascension to the deck, Lamentamenta clutched in his hands the beautiful British Admiral's Hat! The Pirate Crew fell silent, in awe. Surely one who possessed such a fine headpiece was a being of power and wisdom. They backed up, dropped to their knees.
This was Lamentamenta's chance to become a true Pirate, with little work other than a near drowning!
He cleared his throat and placed the hat on his head...
It's a God-awful small affair to the girl with the mousy hair...
I am Lamentamenta, and I shall sigh no more! I was feared and reverenced once, I killed and fought and destroyed everyone that stood in my way of being the greatest Pirate the world has ever known. But all this bloodshed led to my exile, and I was sent to the island you were marooned upon, where I was sad because I had no sword in my hand, no salt air on my face, no smell of burning british sails in my nostrils. When you pathetic excuses for pirate's lackeys beached yourselve like a dying whale upon my shores, I played the fool! I swabbed your decks, I scoured your pots, I peeled your potatoes...all this, and when the chance came to fight, I did not take it. I would not have stopped with the Brits! You all would have felt the edge of my blade!! But I have decided to show mercy and let you live. With this hat, I could command you to march into the sea if it so amused me, but I would have you serve a different purpose. I would have you serve me!! We shall take this sea by storm, by fury! We shall pillage and plunder until our holds are overflowing! We shall wash our hands in the blood of those who would stand in our way and we shall sleep on the breasts of their wives and daughters!! Are you with me, men? Are you with me?"
The crew was stunned! They had no idea that Lamentamenta possessed such strength, such power, such proper grammar! It was a sight to see...
"Oi" said the Jewish Pirate, "I'll be the treasurer, then. I also do taxes on wenesdays and sundays."
Lamentamenta left the pirates to their thoughts and retired to the captains quarters. He hadn't mentioned it before, but he had a secret agenda. When he was an aspiring pirate, he had heard of a legend. A legend of a sea covered in mist and darkness. It was in these forsaken waters that the finest hat ever created, guarded by a giant sea creature, was said to reside. Made by the hands of the oldest living monkey, it was said to be so ornately sewn, so laden with embroideries and decorations, that only the most powerful being in the world could stand upright with it.
At this thought, Lamentamenta's finger's itched, they burned! He longed to hold that hat in his hands...
Lofivinyl: R uth I believe you. you are an oddd little piece of work. I find that I like you after all!
Lamentamenta slept uneasily that night, pursued by lucid dreams in a state of rest that rose and fell in time with the ship's journey over the rough waters. He'd need to think of a proper name for The Pirate Ship, surely. In his dreams, he walked over the breaking foam of the waves, towards the Hat of Destiny, a golden vision hovering just over the horizon of the next wave, always the next wave. Looking beneath him, he could spy the bodies of his fallen enemies just below the surface of the green water. They would tip their heads to look at him, offer him smiles knowing and terrible, and point him ever onwards to the hat. And he walked, ever onwards.
The waters grew shallower, the waves began breaking over horrifically bleached coral reefs, skeletal and menacing. Perched atop one of these was one of his oldest foes, the Iron Pirate with a Tenuous Grasp of English. He'd never beaten him in a fair and square pirate fight, but for Lamentamenta the hat had become the important thing, the only thing.
"Has I have sits hear for years four you. Have you know knowings of my presents here? My mind control summons you, and you answer only to me, chango!"
"You're just a dream," Lamentamenta murmured. "You're not real."
"Ham I not? ModerJesus, you obiesely can't take the hints, no? What you wants his there in the Chinase shepyards!"
"You're helping me?" Lamentamenta asked. "Why?"
But The Iron Pirate with a Tenuous Grasp of English was gone, and the coral began to rise. Five spires circled around Lamentamenta as he tried to speed his pace. He was stuck in a whirlpool as the spires rose higher, ever higher, revealing themselves to be a giant skeletal hand, closing, tighter, tighter...Lamentamenta scrambled up one bony finger, slipping and falling into the shockingly cold water below. As he sank, he had no fear, knowing it was all a dream.
China, he thought. We're bound for China...
It's a God-awful small affair to the girl with the mousy hair...
"Captain!" Lamentamenta woke from his musings to the sound of cacophony on the deck below...
"What?!" It was the Pirate who Liked Inventing Children's games, and he was wildly gesturing towards the horizon. Momentarily distracted by what looked like Monopoly monies sticking out of the pirate's pocket, he realized that they were nearing the Philippines and he was ready for some shore leave.
"Men! Prepare yourselves! We go ashore at dawn, and we will need supplies and ammunition. Enjoy yourselves! We have a long journey ahead..." At this, Lamentamenta thought again of the Hat of Destiny. The last he had seen of the Iron Pirate, he had been on his way to the Island of Lloilo...and he, although hesitant, knew he must speak with him face to face.
Lloilo was sweltering. The men were shirtless, the women scantilly clad...The crew scattered, mostly to the brothels, while the one Pirate, who in his homosexuality earned a rather crass nickname we shall not mention here, was more interested in the shirtless men and the fabulous smell of basmati rice. Lamentamenta also felt the pull of the brothels, the tiny women with their inviting faces, brown skin, and easy smiles, but he pressed on. The Iron Pirate awaited, and he needed guidance.
In a dark room above a seedy watering hole, he found him. Leathery and scarred, he stood, and exchanged a look of truce with Lamentamenta, who nodded as they sat opposite each other on low benches.
"Wot'da ya seek ere??" The Iron Pirate grimmaced, pained that he was sharing a room with his enemy.
"I seek the Hat of Destiny, it is my only desire." Lamentamenta felt that familiar tingling in his fingertips. "I must have it, and you know where it is. You couldn't take it for yourself, conceed defeat and let me have my chance!"
The Iron Pirate stared for a long moment. "find ye to Zheng Yi. E'll sent you on yer way, e's there only manu know ere it be. E'll evn elp ye find yerself!"
Lamentamenta left the Iron Pirate without a word. He knew it would be no good to try and exchange pleasantries, and besides, he was a Pirate! There was simply no need. Zheng Yi...he had heard of him. Successful pirate, had almost made a business of it. Guangzhou was where he would need to go...and he set back towards the ship, but not before catching the eye of a little philippino woman, and retiring to her hovel for a few hours of...rest.
With the ship stocked and full, the crew was replenished, and the men revived. Guangzhou was on the just ahead, and they awaited the chance to make their way into the narrow port. While they were waiting, a barge floated by, but this was no ordinary barge. Candles and torches lit it softly, tapestries and rich fabrics adorned the pavillions. This was Zheng Yi's floating palace!
After requesting parlay with The most Honorable Zheng Yi (not really very honorable, but he liked the way it sounded), they boarded the barge.
After being ushered into the main room, Lamentamenta beheld Zheng Yi in all his glory. He was an old man, but surrounded with the most beautiful and ornate furnishings. His naked harem lounged about on pillows and clearly served him only as decoration. His majesty was only heightened by his long and illustrious white beard which he stroked pensively.
"What has brought you to my palace? It has been a long time since I have seen your face. You seem to have grown both in wisdom and stature. Your father would be proud...He is proud."
Lamentamenta finally made the connection. Zheng Yi was his father! The reason pirating was in his blood, the reason he couldn't shut his eyes without thinking of treasure and new lands. He then understood what The Iron Pirate had meant about Yi helping him to find himself.
"It's been a long time, father, but I want the Hat of Destiny. You have had your time old man! Let me face my destiny!" At this, the most beautiful lady Lamentamenta had ever beheld, appeared from behind Yi's throne. She moved with grace, but her dark eyes were calculating and cold. Lamentamenta locked eyes with her, his first brush with shock and awe. He forgot about the Hat, finding his father, everything. She was his dream.
The sound of swords and death echoed from outside the palace. Mercenaries were attacking Zheng Li's barge, and the men were bravely swashbuckling along side Li's men. Lamentamenta brandished his sword with a flourish that even Yi had to stop and admire, and he charged into the fray with fire in his eyes.
He had no sooner dispatched ten of the mercenaries when one, attacking from behind, forced him to the ground, and was preparing to run him through, when his from his abdomen, burst a blade, glinting in the torchlight and dousing Lamentamenta with the mercenary's entrails. The Mercenary fell to the side and the found that woman from the palace was weilding it with more mastery than Lamentamenta could ever hope to possess. And then she was gone. She fought just as bravely as any of his men, and far more bravely than the Pirate Who Hates To Get His Hands Dirty.
When the mercenaries were all sent to Davey Jone's locker, Lamentamenta went back to Zheng Li.
"I must know, father, who is she?" Lamentamenta gestured towards the open door where the girl was wiping her blade on on of the mercenary's garments.
"Her name is Chingh Shih. She is my wife." Lamentamenta's heart sank at these words, but it was a blessing in disguise, as he all at once remembered his purpose.
"Go east, meet the rising sun. The dark side of the sun is what you seek, my son. There lies the Hat of Destiny." Zheng Yi fell to the ground, clutching his chest. Lamentamenta fell to his side, but he was gone. His heart had been so gladdened by seeing his son that he had had all of his desires fullfilled in seeing that he would carry his legacy on. This further renewed his desires to sail immediately, and he gathered the men and set off.
Convinced they were headed in the right direction, sunset at their backs, Lamentamenta decided to retire to his quarters, to recover from the evenings battle. When he opened the door, he knew something was wrong...the door closed seemingly of its own accord, and as he turned, Lamentamenta saw her, Ching Shih, waiting behind it...
Lofivinyl: R uth I believe you. you are an oddd little piece of work. I find that I like you after all!
"I bid you welcome," Ching Shih purred.
"It's my room. I should be welcome," Lamentamenta replied, having long ago lost the ability for romantic conversation. His heart stirred at the sight of her, yet he felt strangely wary. She was enticing and dangerous, he thought, like a ripe banana filled with nails. Lamentamenta also though that he'd lost the gift of metaphor. He sighed.
"We've charted a course for the dark side of the sun," Lamentamenta said.
"We'll sail through the Prismatic Channel, a cursed vortex of Time and Space, and we'll disintegrate. Our physical selves will scatter and reform in another dimension, where there is nothing but the hat. Are you truly prepared for such a thing?" Ching Shih asked, a tear at the corner of her eye.
"How can one ever be ready for such a thing?" Lamentamenta asked, cocking an eyebrow (this much, he remembered at least, had always helped him on his romantic endeavors).
Ching Shih slinked around the cabin, pausing by each candle to lick her finger lasciviously and snuff each flame. At last in darkness, feeling her warm embrace, Lamentamenta was able to forget the hat, the journey, the miserable island that had held him for so long. As The Pirate Ship entered the Prismatic Channel, Lamentamenta disintegrated, losing himself to darkness.
He awoke, head buzzing, to find himself naked but for a pillowcase fashioned into a loincloth. Ching Shih slept peacefully beside him, her eyes darting behind her lids. Lamentamenta rose and walked to the fore of the ship. The waves before the ship were amber, the sky a dull orange. There was seemingly no horizon. He could feel the boat moving, but could not perceive motion.
"Shall we hold our course, Cap'n?" said the Pirate who didn't like to See Men in Loincloths from behind his hat.
"Aye," said Lamentamenta, pausing to placate the Pirate who Was a Bit Immature About Celebrating Other Men's Conquests with a high-five.
Lamentamenta gently shook Ching Shih. "Darling," he whispered. "We've crossed over. How will we know when we've reached the Hat?"
"When the Sun rises in darkness." Ching Shih's eyes opened, twin pools of whirling blackness.
"What trickery is this?" Lamentamenta yelped.
"No trickery, dearest. This dimension is my home. I've sought return for centuries, only able to cross over when I'd found true love."
"What of the hat?" Lamentamenta asked.
"You must choose," Ching Shih said as the sky began to darken. "Stay here with me forever in love. Or have your prize. Take your hat back to your world."
The sun rose quickly, a massive black sphere leeching all light from the sky. The waves glowed dully beneath the boat.
"But I..." Lamentamenta began, when the boat was rocked from beneath. The waves began to bubble around them as submersible ships rose, chitinous bearing mysterious submersible monkeys.
"RETURN HER TO ME." A voice boomed across the sky.
"Oh shit," Ching Shih said. "It's my dad."
"Your what?!" Lamentamenta shrieked.
She ran to the side of the boat and screamed, "I'm in love Daddy! I don't care what you say, this man has taken me for his own!"
The Pirate Ship rattled as the submersibles closed in. Ching Shih spun to face Lamentamenta. "He's going to destroy us."
Lamentamenta swallowed. A single star shone on the horizon, low in the sky. It pulsed, spun, beckoned to him. It hovered above a lone island in the sea. It was...the hat.
Ching Shih saw the desire on Lamentamenta's face. "You want the hat. They always want the hat. You're going to do what they all do, leave me here, trapped. Run away."
Lamentamenta drew himself up. "Men?!" he bellowed. "Prepare to fire all cannons on my mark!"
He drew Ching Shih in close and kissed her. "I'm going to run. Straight for that island. I'll have the hat." He squeezed her closer, "and I'll have my prize as well. If we die, we die together!"
It's a God-awful small affair to the girl with the mousy hair...
The submersible crafts started merging together, collectively forming a massive and threatning ship...
Turning to The Pirate Who The Story Couldn't Do Without, also known as "Number Two",
Lamentamenta removed the Admiral's Hat, and placed it on Number Two's head. "Take the helm, Number Two, I must go for the hat. I will be back to carry on the fight against this new adversary, but I know you'll defend the ship until I do!"
With this, Lamentamenta targeted the last submersible heading for the giant mass ahead, and leapt. He pried it open and removed it's driver, and headed straight for the island, seemingly unnoticed. Speeding towards the island, he thought for a moment of recent events, and he formed a plan. He aproached the island, anchored his craft, and went ashore. The Hat, shining and majestic, was floating in front of him...
A large monkey, old but nimble, leapt from behind it, sword in hand. "You have no business here! This hat is for the greatest of men! I, Krull, am sworn to protect it!"
Lamentamenta, realizing he had nothing with which to defend himself, took the best stance he could. Krull lunged, sword first, towards him, and he nimbly dodged it, landing a beautiful kidney punch as he passed by. Krull crumbled, and his sword flew into the sea. Lamentamenta and Krull, locked in an epic struggle, fought for what seemed like years beneath the mythical hat. Suddenly, with Krull beneath him, he broke free and tried to leap back, but instead, leaped up and he felt the hat on his head! Krull backed away in fear...
"No man has ever stood beneath the weight of that hat! You are the first...you are indeed a worthy opponent, sir...what is your name?" Lamentamenta heard himself cry out his name, loud and true, and for the first time in his whole journey, he felt like a true pirate.
Lamentamenta left Krull and his island and hastened back to the fray. His ship had taken a beating for sure, and Lamentamenta boarded it, preparing for the worst.
Suddenly, the barrage of fire from the enemy ship stopped, and an old monkey, still strong and fierce, emerged on the bow. Ching Shih cried out. "Father! Please, I love him, stop this!"
"You don't know what you want, girl, you've been doing this for centuries." The old monkey nodded to Lamentamenta. "I see you've taken the Hat of Destiny, not an easy feat...The man who is able to stand beneath it deserves it. Take it. But leave the girl. She is mine."
Lamentamenta considered this, and asked for one night to decide. The old monkey nodded,"We will return in the morning, then, make your choice wisely!"
The ship, with the powers of the hat, had mended itself, and the men's wounds were healed. Ching Shih ran to his side. "Are you hurt? Why didn't you just take me? You weren't supposed to choosed the hat! What's your plan?"
Lamentamenta could not sleep. He had his hat, and there were no others like it. There were many other girls. He decided to place her in the submersible and send her back to her father. He roused the men, "Prepare the sails! We leave immediately!"
Lamentamenta placed her,still asleep, in the submersible. He returned to the ship and never looked back. Once they returned to the world of men, he would know no boundaries. No one could stop him. He would be king of not only the pirates, but of the world! He had grown from a failure to a success. His men feared him, women wanted him (this was really more of an assumption), and the world was about to be introduced to the Hat of Destiny for the first time. He didn't need love, he had the sea! He knew it was cold hearted to leave Ching Shih, but he was, after all, a Pirate.
Lofivinyl: R uth I believe you. you are an oddd little piece of work. I find that I like you after all!
Dude, just read the thing! It's about a monkey who rises from the gutters of society to become a dominant force in the world! There's love, and adventure, and bloodshed, and pirates! This is the greatest fan submission the site has seen in some time. I'm just saying.
It's a God-awful small affair to the girl with the mousy hair...
why dont you and hardcandy get a room! a literary room!
It takes like twenty minutes to read...
I really wish I had worn makeup for that picture. I look so...monochromatic in that thing.
Lofivinyl: R uth I believe you. you are an oddd little piece of work. I find that I like you after all!
you look wonderful. now change your avatar!
theres only room for one hardcandy avatar at the cult!
It takes like twenty minutes to read...
I really wish I had worn makeup for that picture. I look so...monochromatic in that thing.
i agree. you should take another one.
in the heat of burning air to watch the naked famele body is insane,
Oh, and it totally doesn't make sense for it to belong to me...
yeah, i know, its far too egotistical if you have it. you dont want to be that girl
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Joined: 2008-09-16
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