Official Presidential Debate Drink-A-Moo Drinking Game

For all you partygoers, here’s your Drinking Game Initiative:

GENERIC RULES THAT SHOULD APPLY TO ANY DEBATE:

TAKE A SHOT:

-When the buzzwords “change” or “maverick” or “hope” are used

-Whenever either one says “fundamental” or “fundamental difference” – added by popular demand through my highly scientific comment form on 10/7/08

-When someone says “I voted for or against” or “He voted for or against”

-When McCain refers to Obama’s “inexperience”

-When McCain stammers and looks like he might have a heart attack

-When McCain somehow works in his personal story as a POW during Vietnam

-When McCain refers to the moderator as “my friend” or the audience as “my friends”

-When Obama somehow works in his personal story of being raised by a single mom and his grandparents

-When Obama makes a smirk, shakes his head, and says, “Look…” as a preface to a statement or follow-up — amended by popular demand to “Look” on 10/8/08

-When Obama makes the case that McCain and Bush are one and the same or uses the phrase “more of the same”

-When Obama says “John McCain is right on this, but…” — added through high-end analysis of reader feedback on 10/8/08

-When anyone brings up “suspending the campaign” — only topical for debate one, and I don’t recall it coming up

-When either one lays claims to being “bipartisan” or working “across the aisle”

-It’s a Social when Sarah Palin is mentioned!

-Finish whatever you are drinking if McCain loses his temper!

ECONOMY SPECIFIC RULES:

TAKE A SHOT:

-When someone mentions the “Bailout” of Wall Street

-When someone mentions Wall Street and Main Street in the same train of thought

-When someone starts quoting dollar figures (for example: 700 billion)

-When someone talks about mortgages/foreclosures/homeowners

FOREIGN POLICY SPECIFIC RULES:

TAKE A SHOT:

-If anyone uses the words “surge” or “victory”

-When anyone mentions a particular nation as being a potential “nuclear” threat

-When McCain talks about Islamic Radicals/Terrorists

-When Georgia and/or Russia are mentioned

-When Iran and/or Iraq are mentioned

-When Afghanistan is mentioned

-It’s a social for al Qaeda or North Korea!

-Finish whatever you are drinking if anyone delivers specifics on how to get out of Iraq “safely and responsibly”.

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My addenda:

Finish the glass if McCain says "half-breed," "mulatto" or "miscegenation"

Waterfall if either candidate mentions mummies, either Egyptian or Incan

Exhume the corpse of Ronald Reagan and drink from its skull if the top of McCain's head pops open and spiders come out

Drink each time Somali pirates are mentioned

Drink if Barack Obama references or quotes lyrics to any song by David Bowie, Peter Gabriel or the B-52s

Drink every time each candidate says "hella," "shitload," or "pimp" (as a verb, adjective or noun)

ADD YOUR RULES OK LOL