It's us against Oprah; we need to take a stand!

Oprah, please forgive me...

When I think of contemporary literature, an angel dies somewhere. I like to go to the Barnes and Noble website, just to look around at the new releases and pull up lists of what's selling well. Then, I cry out to the Lord in anger.

Throughout most of American history, the mainstream concept of a good novel and a good story does not seem to correlate to what becomes a "classic." Sure, we have some exceptions, but what mainly sells are tired formulas and the kind of stories that are "safe" for anyone and everyone to read. The true artists suffer on the margins of respectability and economic solvency, sometimes only achieving their worth after death.

It's a heavy and pale reality. I think we need to do something about it. You and me.

When I walk into a Starbucks, I'm there to buy a cup of hypercaffeinated coffee, not to learn what the safe mainstream thinks I should be reading. Oprah's book club, while well-intentioned, is a great tool for determining what I will most likely hate in contemporary literature. All the talk shows and book tours and award-givers can only vaguely inform me of what's already established.

Where's the pulp tradition? Who do we turn to for for the underground zeitgeist? Is the artist doomed by human nature and the law of large numbers to ride out a prison sentence of obscurity? Say it ain't so!

I hereby supplicate myself to a divine mission. The first covenant: vote with thy pocketbook. Buy only that which is from an author you're solid on and get the mainstream hype from the library. The second covenant: evangelize the artists thou loveth to thy neighbor. Do not allow them to risk their souls for an addiction of formulaic vampire novels and 500 page monstrosities that should have been short stories. Help them see the light. The third and final covenant: become the living artist of thy dreams. Don't wait for a savior to emerge and transform the literary landscape as you see it, but instead work toward becoming that great catalyst yourself. Write it yourself.

I mean, really. Could it be any worse than what's selling right now? You know the truth: you could poop better.